Do You Remember?

Photo by Jaleel Akbash for Unsplash

Memories have always fascinated me. If two people take part in the same event and then describe it, they will emphasize different aspects, based on their perspective. Over time, our tendency to edit out the bad and highlight the good (or vice versa) comes into play. After the passage of many years, if you ask the same two people to recall the memory, you may think you’re hearing about two separate events.

7 thoughts on “Do You Remember?

  1. Elaine Moore

    I thank God for you, Taryn, and Steve, Kurt & Susie as well, knowing that you will always do what is best for my Forever Friend and her husband. They couldn’t ask for a better team of God abiding people to handle their problems.
    With people living much longer these days, it just seems normal to me that they would develop MCI due to old age. Of course, now they have put name tags on these symptoms. I often say to Patti, “Who ever thought we would live to be this old.”. In any case, the best we can do is live each day to the fullest knowing that God has had a plan for our lives ever since we were born and that, ultimately, He is in charge. Each morning I pray as I start my day, “Guide me, dear God, as I go about my day. Impart your thoughts, order my steps, guide my path. Amen.”.
    Patti and I talk often on the phone and go on and on chatting just like we did as teenagers. We reminisce, laughing over experiences we shared and recalling the friendship that our mothers shared. We give each other needed support and pray for each other daily. This is a gift to us from God❣️
    As you have often heard quoted, “old age isn’t for sissies”, but we will survive!
    You can rest assured that I will not discuss this blog with anyone.

    Reply
    1. Taryn Hutchison Post author

      Thank you so much, Elaine. You are a loyal and lifelong friend of my Mom’s and I’m so grateful she has you. I hope this post didn’t seem inappropriate to you. I know my parents will never see it, but I don’t want to disrespect them. By the way, Dad keeps talking about a seafood restaurant by the railroad tracks. Does that sound like something in Prospect Park?

      Reply
      1. Elaine

        Not that I can recall, Taryn. There was a butcher shop very close to the railroad station and tracks and Adele and my mother, Eleanor, shopped there. I remember getting a pickle out of a big jar on the counter! The railroad station was MOORE ~ a property owner named Moore donated the property for this station. He did so, with the “condition” that the station should carry his family name for as long as it exists.

        Reply
  2. Teresa Snow

    Thanks for putting into words so well what you are experiencing, Taryn. I walked through 5 years with my Dad who needed in home care as he began to lose his short term memory. We could live in the moment and the long ago stories. I have sweet memories of our times together. He remembered my voice a few hours before he died as I assumed I would not get to TN in time to tell him goodbye in person. Now I offer to help others who are caring for family members. These can be hard days as there is no actual roadmap, only guidelines. Each person is different, and you don’t know how long and how far the road is to the end.
    Blessings and daily grace to you all the way from Austin!

    Reply
    1. Taryn Hutchison Post author

      Thank you so much, Teresa! We will all need that daily grace and strength. Good to hear you have sweet memories from those years with your Dad. One thing I read is that there can still be joy in the moment: tasting food they love, looking at a beautiful scene, hearing music they love, feeling love from a visitor even if they don’t recognize the person.

      Reply
  3. Chris Campbell

    Your words brought back many memories of my paternal grandmother who also had vascular dementia. She was also German and always worried about feeding the chickens during her hospitalizations. We always reassured her that we would take care of them when she couldn’t. Yet she still climbed out of the hospital bed and restraints trying to get to them after visiting hours. It was so hard to watch her decline, and I loved her so much.
    Your responses to your Dad and your thoughts on double caregiving are spot on. It can feel like a long, lonely journey. My past work taught me that family support, a good physician, a sense of humor, and a strong faith were ingredients that made caregiving a little easier. Extend grace to yourself on the hard days. God is with you on the journey. And as a wise physician once said to me, “Our family members may forget but God does not forget!”

    Reply
    1. Taryn Hutchison Post author

      Oh, Chris, your words are so helpful. I love your tips and perspective from your work, especially that God does not forget!

      Reply

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