How do you decide when it’s time to end something? Time to move on?
My husband tells me I’m not good at that. I tend to stay too long in jobs that aren’t challenging or fulfilling because of a sense of loyalty to the people I work with (whether I like them or not), compounding the level of frustration to my life.
When I’m not happy with a hairdresser (which is not the case now, Tanya, if you’re reading this), I feel like I’m breaking up if I dare move on. And then if I do find someone new, I slink around incognito in my trench coat and hat, afraid I’ll be caught cheating. My personal sense of obligation makes me feel a need to remain committed to one job, one hairdresser, one church the way I am to one husband — for life. Till death parts us.
There’s a reason I’m pondering this today. Lately, I’ve been contemplating how to know when it’s time to change my Facebook profile picture from the Arabic letter “N” — without feeling like I’m giving up on persecuted Arabic Christians. I notice that it’s been exactly a month since I became an “N” for Nasrani (meaning Christian in Arabic). I never expected to have this be my photo forever.
A groundswell of people around the world also changed their photos to the “N.” There were two main reasons for this.
First was to help bring awareness to the plight of Christ-followers in Iraq, whose houses were painted a red “N” to mark them out for slaughter. The world’s eye is now, finally, on the situation. We have awakened to the horror that is ISIS.
Second was to stand in solidarity with my brothers and sisters who suffer for their faith. That will never change. I promise to always remember them in my prayers. To never stop passionately supporting them, however I can. Changing my photo doesn’t mean changing my loyalty. That will never happen.
So when do I change my photo back to me? How will I know it’s time? Today I decided. Symbolically, I will change it tomorrow, on Sept. 11. On the 13th anniversary of 9/11, I will take a stand to show that the terrorists don’t control my actions. I will return to being Taryn. Tomorrow, I will reclaim my profile picture.