The Glorious Muddle
glimpses of grace in the messiness of life

December 19, 2021

Finding Our Way Home

One year after my Dad started his steep decline into dementia, Mom is now repeating what he used to say, almost word for word. “Where am I? I want to go home. This isn’t my home.” Early this morning, the maintenance guys at her complex called me. They found Mom scratching “anyone ever home?” on her car window*.  (*Don’t worry. We hold the keys to her car.)

The longing for home is innate within all of us. Our search for home can take our whole lives. This season of Christmas tends to intensify that longing, leaving many of us feeling empty. Whatever “home” is, we realize we don’t have it.

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December 14, 2021

The Importance of Presence

Image thanks to Steven Su at Unsplash

A few weeks ago, my father spent nine days in ICU with underlying complications from a breakthrough case of Covid. When we placed him in his new home, my biggest fear was: What if he gets sick–all alone–and we can’t be present with him? Is Dad afraid?

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November 17, 2021

Happy First Birthday!

 

One year ago today, November 17, I proudly held my little bundle of joy in my arms and told her I’d love her forever . . .  Well, maybe I’m not really that crazy, but it was a proud moment for me when One Degree of Freedom was born. During the long months that preceded the birth, I had all the usual morning sickness and fears and feelings of being overwhelmed, until the contractions kicked in and ushered forth my baby to be shared with the world.

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November 12, 2021

Encouragement When It’s Needed Most

The last time I saw my dad in his new home, he asked me if I’m a teenager.

I shook my head. “Do I look like I am?”

He scrutinized my face. “Are you 25?”

“You’re getting closer, Dad!”

My dad is legally blind and he has dementia, but I still took it as a compliment. 🙂

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November 2, 2021

Learning to Live with Messy

I like to know where things are. People often comment that my house is clean. It’s not. I rarely clean. But I put things where they belong. When I’m overwhelmed, overworked, frustrated, or anxious, it helps me to have an organized space. Clutter makes it hard to focus and it makes me feel more stressed. I cannot be creative in the midst of clutter.

Right now, my life is cluttered. I feel stressed. And I cannot do anything to straighten it out.

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