The Glorious Muddle
glimpses of grace in the messiness of life

March 23, 2023

No Regrets Caregiving

My mom turned 90 in style with a big family party. Even more birthday cards arrived after this photo was taken.

My mom has had three trips to the Emergency Department already this year. She’s had twice as many falls. Every time the telephone rings, I tense up. It’s often a nurse, and it’s often bad news.


February 15, 2023

Walking off into the Sunset

Photo thanks to Jason Blackeye at Unsplash

RIP Barnabas (Barney) Hutchison, The Encourager

I think my cat died two days ago. Let me start over: I know my cat died two days ago. The reason I said “I think” isn’t because I’m stuck in the stage of grief called denial, but because it happened in such a romantic, perfectly scripted movie-ending sort of way, a way I’d never heard of before, that I have trouble believing it.


January 13, 2023

Losing a Little Bit at a Time


When caregiving consumed my days, I wrote about it frequently, and I wrote about my Dad’s dementia that required caregiving. Many people said that helped them. Things have eased up quite a bit for me now that I’m only responsible for one parent, but it’s still a difficult season.

Small losses keep coming. Some days the losses are bigger than others, but each small loss is a grief. Each one is something to be mourned, a series of losses that anticipate the big one to come. 


December 13, 2022

Silent Night or Jingle Bells?

Image thanks to Madison Kaminsky on Unsplash

This year, I debated whether I should decorate. Should we go through all the effort–arthritic knees and sore backs effort–to haul our Christmas decorations down from the attic and put them up? The only people I knew for sure who’d see them were my husband and me, and my mother on Christmas day.

But even if it’s only us, I decided it is worth it. And even if someday it’s only me (I have had many Christmases in the past when it was only me), I hope I’ll still want to decorate. Why? It brings me pleasure. Even if nobody else sees it.

So … I decorated. (more…)

No Comments

November 2, 2022

Early Life of a Newborn Book

The month of October is a blur to me. My third book, Sentenced to Life, was due on October 19 and arrived two weeks early: on October 5. Like any parent of a premature baby, I wasn’t quite prepared. I’ve been playing at catch-up ever since, without catching up exactly (and without much sleep). Maybe in a couple years . . .

No Comments