One of my favorite things to do is to read the newspaper each morning, sitting on our porch, listening to the birds as I drink my coffee. Every day, there are stories that make me laugh out loud. Let me tell you about the two I discovered yesterday.

The first story took place here in North Carolina. The actress who played Thelma Lou in the Andy Griffith Show was robbed at a grocery store in Mayberry. Actually, her purse was stolen in the town of Mt. Airy, which is the real-life setting for Mayberry. Thelma Lou is now 83 and moved to Mt. Airy from Los Angeles, where she was robbed three times without the LAPD ever catching the thieves. The Mt. Airy sherriff caught the guy (who’d jumped in the river), drove Thelma Lou home, and carried her groceries into her house. Just like Andy and Barney would have done.

The other story comes from our last home, the Bay Area. Santa Clara County has now banned Happy Meals. The reasoning is that children are obese because of the free toys in Happy Meals. Isn’t it a more complex issue than that? I mean, doesn’t some of the blame fall with kids’ sedentary lifestyles from sitting in front of a computer and TV and not being active? Or their parents who give them spending money and don’t monitor how they spend it or their time? Poor McDonalds. Of all the fast food restaurants, it’s always their fault (even if we spill a hot drink and get burned, they’re responsible). In the Bay Area, people would rather admit to going to a strip joint than to McDonalds. Every day, a long line of Mercedes and BMWs snaked through the drive-thru lane, their darkened windows making it impossible to see who sat inside. McDonalds offers salads and apple slices and makes us fat, yet we can guiltlessly eat at InNOut Burger, which only sells cheeseburgers and fries, and believe we’re being healthy. If only we’d known years ago to blame the Happy Meals, there’d be no chubby kids today.